A little reminder

Amazing, isn't it? Our propensity to forget. I mean human beings in general. I am making the self - serving biased assumption that all people tend to do this; because if it's a special characteristic of mine, then I'm in big trouble. Twice a year, every year I get to this point. The semester is over, final grades are coming in, and once again, I am kicking myself in the head. I am amazed that I managed to do so well relative to the amount of work I put in; but insanely disappointed with myself for not working hard enough to do much better . . . again.

I am thinking about all the hours I spent watching television, or pretending to multi - task while watching television. I am obsessing over midterms; and dreaming about how much better off I would be if I had remembered this feeling in the six weeks prior to that half - term evaluation. I am wondering if this is all because I convinced myself quickly that I was never going to do much better than I did at the beginning of my college career - if I am following some kind of self - fulfilling prophecy.

But once again, I am mostly thinking about other people I know who have found themselves in the very situation I am in now; and just how different mine their individual situations are. These people have to worry about jobs, about sending money home to their families, about paying rent, buying clothing - these people are adults, with adult problems and adult responsibilities. I, on the other hand, are as my father likes to say, paid to be a full - time student. So what is my excuse for not doing the work I need to be doing? I don't have one. At some point I think I became overly confident; and then took the plunge into severe self - debilitation. Mostly, I think I'm just lazy.

And here is the point of this extremely whiny post.

Remember this, older self: you are not a cruiser. Never have been. Never will be. I suggest you get off your ass and get to work. Pronto.